Sunday, November 29, 2009


I witness an engagement of one of my brother’s son yesterday at a nearby village but lost my way as we were the last to depart from my brother’s house. I was driving with three passengers one of which was my talkative elder sister which I was really mad about her ever non-stop complain. We reached far off the intended house and after a call to my brother’s son did we drove back with my sister still complaining non-stop. She only stopped when I raised my voice to stop her. The house was just by the main road but atop a hill which was unseen from view from the road. We were the last to reach the bride-to be residence.

It was really a hot Saturday afternoon amidst the smooth flow of the discussion of the engagement of which was already discussed earlier by the family. It was the process of signing the documents by the intending couple, witnesses and the confirmation signatory of the village chief and followed by lunch and drinks.

Of all the many engagement that I witnessed, I was unaware of the traditional culture of my people (Kadazan) that the number of representatives assign for the discussion is between five to seven persons (odd number). It was indeed a culture shock to me as the number of people from our side was far exceeded to thirty people. Actually it is not practiced anymore as even now the number of people coming for the engagement is only for the merry making and having great food catered by the host.

There was one engagement postponed to a later date after the intending groom forgets to bring the engagement rings. The bride’s to be family rejected the engagement proposal after the slipped-up. They proposed for another date for the engagement. The prepared food was not wasted as it was taken without the engagement discussion being held. So any intending person (Kadazan) for his engagement must be wise enough not to forget the engagement ring or you will find yourself rejected to marry your girlfriend.

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